CARNAL NATION

Newsweek recently called out Oprah for being a quack. In a cover story titled “Crazy Talk: Oprah, Wacky Cures & You,” they cited shows she’s enthusiastically done on cancer, autism, and other subjects featuring non-experts offering ineffective or dangerous medical tips. She also endorses mystical new age “thinking” as a health strategy.

One thing Newsweek didn’t mention was Oprah’s ignorant, destructive positions on sex.

Take sexual orientation, for example—a subject that’s been in the news once or twice lately. As recently as 10 weeks ago, Oprah was asking psychologist Lisa Diamond if women turn to other women sexually “because of a shortage of men.” Oprah also wondered why, when women turn away from men, so many seem to choose women who don’t, um, look so feminine.

Oprah’s sexual ignorance, of course, isn’t limited to women. She talks about men as if she’s never met an actual adult man:
* When she read mail from viewers complaining about their husbands’ lack of interest, she was stunned–”Hard to believe,” she said. “We thought, you know, men always wanted it.”
* She opened one show by asking the audience: “True or false: once a cheater, always a cheater. What do you think?” In unison, the congregation chanted back the solemn testimony of the Church of Oprah: “True!” Women are, she says, “a big ol’ cheated-on club out there.”

Oprah is so focused on female victimization, in fact, that she even tells the astounding untruth that doctors pay more attention to the sexual aspects of prostate surgery than to hysterectomy. She also forgets to mention that more men die from prostate cancer than from breast or uterine cancer.

But to fully capture the flavor of Oprah’s discomfort with sex, go back a few months to the show that carried this warning:

“This program contains graphic content that is suitable for mature audiences only.”

And what was this “graphic content” that should only be watched by a select few? A chart from a high school biology textbook that celebrity sex therapist Laura Berman used to show where the vagina is.

Well, you may call it the vagina, but poor Oprah just can’t stand that ugly word. “Don’t you think vi-jay-jay sounds better than vagina?” she asked with a pained expression. And the urethral opening? That’s “where you pee-pee,” said the 55-year-old Oprah on national TV. Remember, this woman is the most influential sex educator in the history of the world.

A recent episode with Berman showing Oprah various vibrators did have promise. In a sign that the End Times may be coming, the show actually led to Amazon.com selling out of Berman’s brand of toys. But it ended predictably. As Berman was showing a little number that wrapped around the penis to provide clitoral stimulation during intercourse, Oprah reached her limit. “I’m not ready for this,” she said wanly. “I thought I was, but I’m not.”

Some naïve souls say Oprah educates and empowers. Her show does make women who suffer feel normal, even hopeful. But it neither educates nor empowers. The show celebrates victimhood, consistently trashes men, and offers conservative, moralistic pop psychology regarding sex and relationships. Staining a show featuring a high school anatomy drawing with a “graphic”/“mature audiences” warning speaks louder than anything in the show itself. It’s simply code for “bad.”

And if all that hasn’t hurt viewers enough, there’s also her mortal sin of unleashing the porn-hating, premarital sex-hating, kinky sex-hating Dr. Phil on the world. She says he’s the one who taught her what “normal sex” is.