CARNAL NATION

Actor David Prowse, 74, became famous for wielding his long, red, pulsing shaft onscreen in one of the most iconic movie roles ever—Darth Vader in the original Star Wars trilogy. (To be precise, Prowse played the physical role of Vader, while the voice was done by American actor James Earl Jones.)  It seems, however, that British police suspected that Prowse was doing something a little more explicit than swinging a light saber.  Acting on reports from local residents, the police came to investigate a small bungalow in Newhall, South Derbyshire, on the belief that a porn movie was being shot on the premises. In reality, the film being shot was a small independent action thriller called The Kindness of Strangers, directed by Deborah Hadfield. Much to the dismay of science-fiction geeks everywhere, there was no hot Jedi-on-Sith action to be had. Publicist James Harris said that there was no sex happening on the set, but that "The scenes we were shooting were intense dramas between two characters."

Neighbors called the police because, upon seeing cameras and lighting equipment being taken into a bungalow in small town in the English countryside, the obvious conclusion is that there must be porn happening. One member of the film crew treated the incident with amusement, saying: "It was hilarious to see a bunch of policemen enter the bungalow expecting to see a porn film carrying on. When the officers saw two dressed actors talking, they looked quite disappointed."

We have a feeling that the officers weren't the only ones who were disappointed. How many Star Wars geeks have been waiting decades for just this sort of thing to take their slashfic fantasies beyond the level of poorly-spelled stories and into a genuinely professional XXX production? Guess they'll have to wait just a little while longer.