CARNAL NATION

Carol Queen, Ph.D., the Staff Sexologist at Good Vibrations, was recently awarded the Outstanding Achievement Award at the AVN Novelty Expo for her dedicated commitment and overall contribution to the pleasure product industry. In her speech, Queen generously shared her vast professional experience with conference attendees regarding the importance of creating sex-positive workspaces for the benefit of both customers and employees. In other words, launching a sexuality-themed business, where the staff is educated and open-minded, is not just a passing trend. Operating a safe space that is pro-sexuality and judgment-free can mean the difference between returning customers and a failed entrepreneurial venture. The bar has been raised in the adult toy industry.

In discussing what constitutes a sex-positive workspace, Queen reiterates that since not everyone relates to the term “sex-positive,” the most important way to create this type of environment is to model and enforce the concept of respect in all its diverse forms to all people. The following list summarizes Queen’s main points for creating a “sex-positive” work environment:

• Consent: Allow customers the space to safely identify themselves and their desires the way they want to. Let others label themselves the way they best see fit, if at all.
• Comfort with Subject: If employees are not comfortable with certain aspects of sexuality, their discomfort can affect both customers and other staff members. Sexuality-themed businesses are not meant for just anyone. It takes a special type of person to be successful in them.
• Boundaries: Establish boundaries for both yourself and the business. It is your responsibility to create a safe space for both you and your customers. The boundaries should be flexible enough for you to gauge each situation as it arises without compromising your safety or well-being or that of the business.
• Information: Employees who are informed about sexuality in general, as well as the specific products they are selling, are happier people, which translates to satisfied customers. Morale builds as credibility increases. As Queen states, “When you help someone discover something about their sexuality that they didn’t know before, it just feels good. It’s like saving a puppy!”
• Some/Many/Most: What works for one person may not work for another. Bodies are like snowflakes; they are all different, and blanket statements about sexuality are simply inappropriate and inadequate to vast array of sexualities. When speaking with customers, it is important to use appropriate language that reflects that. (For example: Some people find this toy useful for that issue. Many people have enjoyed using these two products together. Most people find it helpful to use lube while playing with toys.)
• Diversity: Orientation is a continuum; it is not an either/or situation. It’s not about being gay or straight, kinky or vanilla, or even having sex at all. People identify themselves in numerous ways: Lesbian, Gay, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning, Bisexual, Intersexed, Heterosexual, Asexual, Straight but not Narrow, etc.
• Never Assume: Never assume anything about another person. You can’t know for certain anything about their relationship status or their degree of sexual experience and knowledge. Assumptions about gender, orientation, health, culture, ethnicity, or even interests are unfair and create uncomfortable situations for all involved. Don’t assume anything about anyone. Ever. But you can listen.